I woke up today with an unsettling feeling... I have only been up for about an hour, but what an hour filled with tears. I am so blessed, and thankful to have my Hayden here with me, but no mothers day will ever be the same because my sweet princess will never be here with me. So, Happy Mothers day to all the mothers out there, no matter if your baby is in heaven , or here with you today.
I found this poem written by Amy on Still Standing Magazine .. This sums up what I have been feeling
As I stare into the heavenly skies,
I wonder if heaven can hear my cries.
I wonder if my child knows she is missed,
I wonder if she remembers the last time her sweet face I kissed.
I’m hoping she doesn’t need me as much as I need her,
Rainbows beyond this pain in my eyes are a messy blur.
I wonder if I will ever see beyond the pain
I wonder about this never ending rain…
My tears form a river that floods my broken soul
Trying to fill up the bottomless hole…
The hole where only she should be, praying for God’s grace to be upon me.
As I stare into the heavenly skies I wonder if heaven can hear my cries.
I wonder about the what if’s and the why me’s
I wonder, Why in the world is this the way life should be?
I wonder about the “good” that all this could bring.
I wonder if in heaven she remembers the songs to here I would sing.
I wonder if she sees all the work I have done…
to keep her memory alive in the hearts of others.
I wonder if she sees the shattered hearts of her broken brothers,
I wonder if heaven is full of sparkle now?
I wonder if “one day” my heart will heal… I can’t imagine how.
I wonder if the streets of gold are filled with glitter of purples and pinks.
My new reality… Well it just really stinks!
I wonder if she sees my HOPE,
I wonder if she sees thats all I hold onto it order to cope…
The Hope to one day see her, hold her, and never let her go - the hope for HEAVEN.
- Liz
- Welcome! My name is Elizabeth and I'm a home schooling' mama to one little Monkey. We are currently using My Father's World first grade and these are our adventures!
I have been following your blog since January, and I prayed that the doctors would be wrong and that when Maggie was born she'd be just fine. I cried when I learned you had her for just over an hour. I wanted to share this with you that I read:
ReplyDelete"Dear Lord Jesus, I wanted to sit Maggie on my lap and tell her all about You. But since I never had that chance....Can you sit her in your lap and tell her about her Mommy, Daddy, and brother?"
Perhaps this will bring you comfort, and the prayer to pray when you have no other words.
Thank you so much for following Maggie's story. I am glad that she has touched your heart. Thank you so much for the prayer, when I read it last night it made me cry. I pray a little prayer every morning, and night for God to give her a big kiss, and a hug for me. So, I will just add this little extension on. Thank you again, for following, and your kind words- Liz
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