Life is to short not to chase your dreams

The past year of my life has been a journey. A journey that has turned my life upside down, and turned me inside out. It has made me question every deep seeded belief that I have ever had. At 19 weeks pregnant I found out that I was pregnant with a baby girl, but the pregnancy was fatal. Maggie had a rare disease called Multicystic Dysplastic kidney disease or Potters Syndrome. I had the choice to terminate the pregnancy or keep going, and I choose to carry her as long as I could. She was born April 19, 2012. She was 6lbs 10 oz , and looked perfect in every way from the outside. She lived for an hour and half, and died peacefully in my arms. I was consumed by grief after this tragic event, I had no idea what to do or how to move forward in my life. So, after two months of wallowing, and feeling sorry for myself  I started "operation get a life" .

 Operation get a life consisted of two things .. number one get a job, and number 2 make some new friends. Getting a job proved to be harder than what I thought it was going to be.. every ad that I came across, or every interview that I went to my heart was just not in it. Then the light bulb came on!!! After everything that I had been through  I had been given the gift of the "reset" button. I had seen first hand how short life can really be.... I was thinking of a million things that I would never get to do with my daughter, but  it was not to late for me, I could still do a million things on my bucket list all I had to do was DO them.

So, one of the things that I had always wanted to do was HAIR. I had looked into school at least three other times since I was in High School. Something in life was always "just not right". The "just not rights" were people talking me out of it, money being tight, my own fear, having a young child to look after, only have one vehicle . the list went on , and on. Well, operation get a life put a bug up my butt you might say. It was time, and nothing was going to stop me. I went to Paul Mitchell the School's web site, and found the link to the financial aide web site. That night I filled out my own FASFA, and sent my Application into the school. Nothing was stopping me now. 

I am happy to say that  now I only have about four months of school left. I was the best decision that I have ever made. I am not saying that it has been easy, because it has not been.  I have found my number 2 in operation get a life, but I call them much more than friends , they have become my new family.. my light at the begging of a new journey.  I am so blessed to have the opportunity to go to Pmts Bradley. If you would of asked me a year ago what I would be doing today.... I would of said just trying to make it out of bed. Rainbows come when you need them the most. So, thank you to all my new friends/ family at PMTS for helping me when I needed it the most.

Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it. So, why wait another day to chase whatever dream you have??? Life is short, and growing older is a privilege denied to many. 

Thank you for your time - Liz 

If you would like to read my blog about my journey with Maggie please go to www.http://maggiefaithandersonjourney.blogspot.com

Enjoying a moment in life.

I don't know how to start this post so I guess I will just start rambling.... I feel like I have been going through a cycle where I forget that I am a  mom to an angel baby. I am not upset about it , more a feeling of shock. There are some days that I do not think about her at all. Then there are other moments like to day ... We were talking a walk, and I was thinking about how beautiful of a morning it was. Hayden riding his bike, and Don and I walking hand in hand while Alive (our dog)  is pulling us to keep up with Hayden. The sun was shinning and the birds were cheeping. I just said a prayer to thank God for this beautiful moment, and letting us have peace because of all that we had been through. I did have a quick moment where I wished that I was pushing a stroller with Maggie in it, but the thought passes as quickly as it came. There were no tears of sadness tied to it. Then I came home and found an ad for pregnancy loss jewelry . I clicked on the link just to see what they had to offer,but had no need to shop on the site. Also, I have not been out to her grave since before Christmas. I kept telling Don that we need to get out there to remove the decorations, but in all honestly there is not a NEED to live out there any longer. So, these feelings comes with mixed emotions.. is this just another "cycle" in the grief phase or am I finally learning to how to manage life with out her here?? Writing out that sentence just made me tear up a little. Tears because she is gone, maybe tears of guilt/fear because I am letting go a little more, and tears of joy because I am able to start leading my not grief. 

P.s. I want this shirt BAD!! Sums up how Maggie (butterflies) taught me life is to short not to chase your dreams!!