On over load HELP!

It been awhile since I have posted. To be honest I have been more than a mess. I have been working with a temp agencies, and trying to go back to work. I had my first assignment yesterday. I answered phones for 9 hours at a trucking company. The guys were very nice that I worked with. I AM JUST NOT READY YET. I have been more than a little out of it today. My stomach has been hurting, and I have been achy. I am just so stressed out because of it all. I have been at home now for almost four years... this is a big life style change, on top of losing Maggie. I have tired to express to Don that I just can not handle this right now. I don't know if people in  general think I am playing,or "milking" this situation up, but I am not. I know I need to learn how to cope, but holy moly it has only been 6 weeks. Some days I don't know if I am up, down, or in between. I LOVE being at home. News flash being at home with a 3 year old is stressful enough, with out adding anything else to the pot.
             We leave for Indy on Monday. I am excited/ nervous about that. I have really bad travel anxiety. Plus, when we get back I have another interview to work for a HR company to be the assistant to the director. Secretly ( well not so much now ), I am DREADING it. I want to stay at home. I am happy there. I don't want it to change. I think I would like at least till fall before I go back, then maybe part time. I just feel very overwhelmed!! I am lost... It makes me so mad too when people think that I just need to take a depression pill to cope.. how is that coping?? Taking a pill to alter you chemicals in your brain is not coping.. that is like taking a street drug, or drinking yourself to death, and calling it
"coping".  I am just one person.. I just need time... I need to heal before I try, and move on.. How can you try to write a new chapter when the one before it has not ended???