Got the second shot today at 1pm.. a little back pain afterwards.... It is getting so close to when Maggie will make her presents here in this world. I am scared shitless to be honest. If you sit , and think about the prayer the "Our Father" it seems so simple, but when you really take in the words .. what a hard prayer to take in. I think the hardest part for me to swallow is realizing  it is GODS will not mine in every walk of my life. The trust, and lack of control is there all the time if you think about. So, I don't know why I am having such a hard time with this. I will be telling Dr. M quite sternly before he operates on me that I am only 26 with a son to finish raising, and God's work still to be doing.. so he better do his damn best, pray before hand, and return me to family , so I can heal.
   With all that being said, I have found my self loving a lot deeper, noticing that spring this year is a lot greener, bird chirping at 5 am a lot less annoying ( JUST KIDDING THE BIRDS NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SLEEP IN) .. I am just appreciating the little things a lot more. Hug your babies tight , and thank the dear lord for blessing you with them. Please continue to pray for Maggie, and me. GOOD NIGHT guys!